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7.18.2004
Every evil world conqueror needs an army of dim-witted henchmen. Their task is to simply obey their master's bidding. And die without no emotional attachment from their master and their master's enemies as well. At this point, I, the almighty Wolf shall begin my membership drive for my army of dim-witted henchmen! Behold! The qualifications... of evil!
- must be 18-30 years old
- male (for the females out there, look for The Wolf's "wanted: sex slave" ad)
- preferably single. if not, must be willing to donate their wives or girl friends to The Wolf's stable of sex slaves
- must be as stupid as possible so that when The Wolf catches his enemies, they can get away and fight another day.
- educational background will be completely ignored
- must be willing to work in ridiculously colored uniforms
- working hours are dependent on The Wolf's mood
- no salary. you work or you die!
- must have a clear and manly voice so the words "All hail The Wolf! He is the beginning! He is the end! He is all!" can be uttered menacingly.
Send your resumes to my secret headquarters. The world will be mine!
Cunningly Created at 01:24 am by The Wolf
6.20.2004
Every world-conqueror needs a demonic pet of doom. It acts as his wrathful right hand, serving the will of his master without question. When I catch my enemies, I will talk to them face to face inside my throne room. And when I get tired of their pleas of forgiveness, I shall push the red button on my throne's arm rest. A trap door below my enemy's feet shall open, and he shall fall into my Pit of Doom. There, my demonic pet of doom awaits, ready to tear my enemy apart. Limbs flying all over the pit.
This monster must be ferocious. He must have no fear. And he must be the scariest creature in existence. Every living creature who will witness this awesome beast shall cry like babies in fear. I have found this monster. Behold! My demonic pet of doom!
I have found its nesting grounds, but I have yet to capture this vile beast. I must first bolster my forces before I face this force of nature. Rumors also say that this beast can walk on the moon, and has a taste for young humans, particularly the male species.
Soon, this will be the face that shall strike fear in the hearts of all those who will oppose me. It will devour my enemies whole. Now, it is the object of male children's nightmares, but soon, the whole world shall have bad dreams about it. It shall be my beast of vengeance. My creature of conquest. My pet of punishment. My right hand of doom! Bwah! Bwah! Bwahahahaha!
Cunningly Created at 12:45 am by The Wolf
6.13.2004
Interview with the Vampire Slayer
In the tradition of having endless rhetorics between a villain and his archnemesis, I have scoured the globe for the hero with the most potential to be my nemesis. Plus, she's got to be hot. I found her. And I chose to begin our never-ending grudge with an interview. Ladies and gentlemen, Buffy the Vampire Slayer!
I, the Wolf: Welcome, slayer.
Buffy: Pleased to be here! Not.
Beware your tongue, slayer. So, how thankful are you that I chose you to be my archnemesis?
Actually, I'm insulted. You're not even worth one mini-sized wooden steak!
Of course I'm not! It will take more than a piece of wood to stop me! Poor child. You must be so afraid being in my presence right now, huh? Well, I can't blame you. With my supreme intellect and limitless power.
Uhh.. yeah. Right. Whatever. Look, can we move up the pace here? I've got a lot to do. You know, slayer stuff.
Haha! Your voice is trembling in fear. I do not blame for feeling...
(looks at me menacingly)
Ok, ok. Here comes the questions. First, why do you have a poor choice in men? You're a vampire slayer and yet you did the ugly with that Angel fellow and that pathetic little Spike. I mean, "Angel" is a name that's sooo gay. And "Spike"? It sounds more like a cute little puppy than a skinny English vampire. If I were you, you'd go for someone more superior than your pesky vermin boyfriends.
Ok, first of all, villains don't talk about their enemy's love life.
(takes out a pen and a piece of paper. takes notes.)
Second, I'd rather go out with cool, brooding hunks with vampiric powers than pathetic would-be world conquerors who seems he can't get any.
You dare mock me! I, the Wolf?! I am the beginning! I am the end! I...
Shut up dude. Next question please.
..... I... I shall forgive you for now. You are lucky that my temperament at this moment is beyond your petty insults.
Whatever dude.
So, is your sister dating anybody? That Dawn chick is hot! Oh yeah! She is worthy to be one of my wives. Or maybe my love slaves.
You're one sick freak.
That I am. Haha! How about that Willow chick? She's lesbian, right? I love lesbians. Have you and that witch ever got it on?
Ewww! You perv!
You gotta be honest with yourself, slayer. If you can't, how can you have the will power to save the world from me? Embrace your inner lesbian.
(pulls out a wooden steak)
Whoa! Slayer can't take a joke? Jeez.
Is this non-sense over?
One more question. Where's the country you rule located? Not that I'm planning to take over it as hostage as my last feeble attempt to defeat you.
Country I rule? I don't rule any country. Get your facts right, idiot.
Aren't you a princess? Married to Prince Freddie Junior?
Stupid prick.
Silence! I will not tolerate this insolence!
(points her wooden steak at me)
Easy, slayer. Keep your temper in place. Stupid bitch.
What?!
I mean 'whore'. Stupid whore.
(stands up and gets ready to stab me in the heart with her wooden steak)
Hey! I... I... this interview is over! Begone! Fould wench. (runs away.)
You better run, asshole.
Haha! I have instilled fear in the heart of the slayer. Did you notice how I messed with her mind? She's now very scared and confused, I'm sure. I'll give her time to train more. And I hope she builds up an army of potential slayers. I'd love to get nasty with an army of young coeds. But I seem to have picked a weak opponent. She'll probably be only good for slumber parties and make-overs. She'd also make a good warrior wife. Her sister Dawn would be a great trophy wife. And her friend Willow would be a great addition to my lesbian wives. I don't know why I'll have lesbian wives, but it'd be way cool.
I must find an adversary who can match wits with me and who has no fear. That person must be strong enough to face the threat of... the Wolf! Bwah! Bwah! Bwahahaha! (lightning and thunder)
Cunningly Created at 10:59 pm by The Wolf
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 I am the beast of lore. I am the beginning. I am the end. I am all. There is no paradise. There is no hope. There is no future. There is only I, the Wolf. Behold! These are my words. My warnings. My hate. These are the stories and the ideas I leave to you to understand. Traverse carefully. Believe what you can. Forget what you want. Fear everything. Rejoice! For you have been blessed with my thoughts. Tremble! For I exist. Cower! For I am closer than you'd expect.
Contact Me
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